Battling Depression To Stay On The Mat

Currently I am in a bit of a funk. The kind of funk that keeps you from doing things you know that you love. After going through something like cancer your body will never quite be the same again, and you have doctors basically monitoring everything you do from what you eat, to how many hours of sleep you should get, what activities to do and what not to do, etc. You become so conditioned to not do anything in fear of getting sick again that once you are able to get back out and start doing things you have to battle the little voice in the back of your head that is telling you not to do whatever it is you want to do. This is where I am at right now. I LOVE BJJ, it is something I am passionate about, and will do for the rest of my life. However getting myself into train after a full day at work is another story. When I get off work and get home my mind is telling me I need to rest and get ready for work again tomorrow, but that is not exactly the case. I am far past the worst in regards to cancer, but am having a hard time getting back into the gym. There is no secret to how I beat this feeling and that is to just go. This is proving harder than I thought, but as of now my plan for tonight is to get back on the mat. I have so many great friends and training partners that we are like a big family. I am hoping that over the next month I can get back to being on the mat at least 4 times a week, and then on the weekends as well. Hopefully I will be competing again soon and get a few more gold medals for my team.